Teenagers today are bombarded with images of impossible beauty. Everything from the filtered photos on Instagram to glossy air-brushed magazine covers at the grocery store to daily doses of peer pressure can lead to unrealistic expectations of a teen’s female form. Sparkling and svelte movie stars on the big screen are promoted as role models, but represent images that are simply unattainable for most women. As the same-sex parent, you are a constant teacher and role model for your daughter.
Hopefully, by the time your daughter is a teen, you have already spent years doing things like dispelling the myth of the fairy tale princess being rescued by the handsome prince. And you have provided a family atmosphere that allows her to feel safe and loved. Building on this bond will help you to continue moving your daughter’s self-image in the right direction.
- Show her what it looks like to have self confidence. Be a realistic role model. Don’t let your daughter hear you constantly discussing the latest diet, counting every calorie or complaining about the circumference of your thighs. Instead, model healthy eating, accept your own body for what it is and love yourself.
- Show her how to relax. Don’t let an over-crowded schedule rule your life. Your daughter could see your frantic movement as a curse of womanhood. Show her how to relax and cope with everything life brings. Practice intentional relaxation in your own life. Slow down, try yoga, take a warm bath, take a hike.
- Show her how to capitalize on her uniqueness. Self-esteem is dramatically enhanced when a teen finds her place in the world. It may take awhile to discover an activity or skill she really enjoys and in which she excels. But once you find it, encourage her to explore and embrace her “thing.”
- Teach your daughter that she doesn’t have to love her hair or her legs or her fingernails to like herself. Celebrate her academic accomplishments, her sense of humor and her social skills. Just like your mom told you—it’s what’s inside that counts!
